The White Cat's Blues
by Kotono-chan
Summary: Being dead sucks. That’s all there is to it. Inuyasha gets this lesson smack dab in the face, and gets one chance to get back to Kagome and fix everything. Except karma can really bite you in the arse at the worst moments... Rated R for Inu's bad mouth!
1. Prolog: He Just Screwed Himself Over

**Full Summary: Being dead sucks. That's all there is to it. Inuyasha gets this lesson smack dab in the face, and gets one chance to get back to Kagome and fix everything. Except karma can really bite you in the arse at the worst moments... Rated R for Inu-chan's bad mouth. **

Teh Legend, yo.

"blah" Person speaking

_blah_ Person thinking

?? Scene change

. 

. Time lapse (Half an hour has passed and such)

The White Cat's Blues

Farewell... Ooh, Pretty Light! (Prologue)

It had been a normal day for Inuyasha. Well, as normal as one of _his_ days could get. Naraku, that fucking bastard, was _finally _dead. The Shikon no Tama was complete. Miroku and Sango finally had gotten married, and Kohaku was repenting. Somewhere. Inuyasha wasn't quite sure where the kid had gone, but he bet that he'd come back eventually. Yep, everything had gone perfectly normal for the day... Including Kagome going back to her time for that stupid 'skool' thing, the fight that always followed, and the stupid, fucking _osuwari_. Like usual, Inuyasha had 'gone into a sulk that would put most young children to shame'. According to Miroku, that is. But Inuyasha never listened to the fucking bouzou anyway. So Inuyasha stormed off much to everyone's amusement and let his feet pick the direction.

. 

Why in the fucking hells had he never seen this clearing before?

He looked over the quiet and nice clearing warily. He knew his forest like the back of his hand — after all, it _was_ his territory — but this place was entirely new to him. Either he had walked out of the forest into a different one without noticing, or he had missed this place on his rounds. He didn't like either idea. Deciding that leaving was the best choice, he started to turn around when he saw a flicker of red and white out of the corner of his eye.

"K... Kikyou?"

The dead priestess smiled coldly, but there seemed to be some peace in her eyes that Inuyasha had never really seen before. Utterly confused, her turned around and scowled. _What the hell is she doing here? And WHY didn't I fucking smell her?_ Kikyou began to walk slowly towards him, and Inuyasha noticed that she seemed horrid. She didn't look all _that_ different, but small things stood out like blood on snow. She had bags under her eyes as if she hadn't gotten sleep in a long time, her clothes were scratched and ripped in various places, and she was limping slightly. Inuyasha rushed to help her and noticed that she had been downwind, most likely so he wouldn't smell and see her before she wanted him to. _But why...?_

"Hello, Inuyasha. You were led here because I needed to see you. You promised me that you would go to hell with me, and I am ready to take your promise now. Are you ready to give it?" She held her hand out to him. "I have no more reason to stay on this plane. I have let go of the trapped souls so they can have an afterlife. Come, Inuyasha. Come, and we'll go to hell together, live together for eternity." Kikyou smiled again, the bone and dirt form more gentle than Inuyasha had ever seen it before. He stared at her hand. Was this it? Was he to go to hell without saying anything to his — dare he say it — _friends_, without saying anything to Kagome? He wanted to see her one last time, but he didn't think that he could go to hell with Kikyou peacefully if he did. _I am **not**__afraid to die. I promised Kikyou, and I will keep that promise._ He slowly raised his hand and took Kikyou's hand, who fell into his arms and embraced him. The ground began to quickly swallow them up, and Inuyasha closed his eyes. This was probably going to get ugly....

"INUYASHA!!!"

He whipped his head up and stared at Kagome, who was rushing to the middle of the clearing with everyone behind her. He knew she knew that she was too late. Apparently everyone else did, too. Sango and Miroku held her back, out of fear that she would also be dragged down to hell if she got too close. The girl was in hysterics, struggling and crying and screaming his name. The ground was up to his chin now, Kikyou all the way in the small crater she was making for their trip to hell. He looked at Kagome with rust-gold eyes, feeling terrible that he was putting her through that.

"Kagome..."

Kikyou snapped open her eyes and stared at him. She mouthed something to him with a shocked expression on her face, and that was the last thing he remembered before a blazing, hot light came and engulfed him.

AN: Phwee.... Cliffie! X3 Yes, this is the prolog. I hope I didn't make it too short! I never want to write as Kikyou again... But jeez, is Inuyasha an idiot. X3;;; Next chapter there's guardian angels, dead pissed off hanyous (if that makes sense...), and STRIP GO! Please R&R and give me suggestions for my writing, since I am still learning and would love any comments. Flames shall be stranded at the North Pole. 3 Thank you Halfling Rogue for being my Beta for this chapter! All of my authors notes and disclaimers will be at the bottom of the chapter. Ja ja everyone!

_Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own Inuyasha. Although torturing them is pretty dang fun. _


	2. Chapter 1: Oy Vey, The Hanyou's Dead!

**The White Cat's Blues**

Teh legend, yo.

"blah" Person speaking

_blah_ Person thinking

?? Scene change

. 

. Time lapse (like... Half an hour has passed and such)

Chapter 1: Oy vey, the Hanyou's dead!

The first thing that Inuyasha realized when he came to was that he was floating. The next was a giant crater that took up almost the entire meadow — with two bodies in the center. One was so charred that the skin was flaking off in black flakes, and that other was... Kagome. Crying her eyes out.

"FUCK!" He floated quickly over to where Kagome was hugging his body. She was wailing her lungs out, Miroku and Sango looked to be still in shock about what happened while they were coming into the crater to fetch Kagome, and Shippou, much like Kagome, was bawling. And he couldn't hear or smell any of it.

"SHIT!" Inuyasha seemed to be only capable of swearing at the moment. He zoomed into his body, to only find himself floating above it again. "Fucking shit!" He tried again. And again. And again.

"Fuck... Fuck... Fuck... FUCK!!!"

"Well, you certainly seem to be taking this well..."

Inuyasha whipped around. A man was sitting lazily in mid-air above him, supporting his head with his hand. He had the air of someone who was extremely bored but the gleam of amusement in his eyes gave him away. His reddish hair was in a loose ponytail and his pointed ears flickered every once in a while, as if he could hear everything that was happening below him. His poofy tail swished back and forth contentedly as he watched the Hanyou.

"Who the hell are you?!" Inuyasha growled at the newcomer. The dead Kitsune sighed, and with a small 'No respect for elders these days', got to his feet.

"My name is Shiko. I'm kind of what you would call a messenger for the gods. I'm supposed to come take you to them so they can decide when you get reincarnated and such after you're done seeing your burial. Of course, you could just leave now and be done with it. You don't _really_ need to see your own burial, and most people don't like watching themselves being buried. Especially the claustrophobic ones. They wince and squirm when they're put under." Shiko grinned at this comment, "But really... If you don't want to see your funeral, that'd be fine with me, 'cause then I can get back to my life and stop babysitting dogs." He looked down at the gaping Hanyou.

"What? Did I say something too big for your poor little Hanyou mind?" Inuyasha growled at the insult, but quieted quickly when what the Kitsune said hit him.

"So... I'm really dead?" The Kitsune gave a nod of confirmation and the Hanyou swore and bowed his head. "I'll never see Kagome again?"

"That may be possible. For all I know you could be reincarnated as a kid that was born in her time and you two could get together have a pedophilic relationship. Hope you like older women!" Before Inuyasha could get even close enough to Shiko so he could throttle him, the Kitsune disappeared into thin air. Inuyasha turned around, looking everywhere for the cocky Kitsune.

"Where the fuck did you go, you little brat?!"

"Why, up here of course. Much safer from your pesky little tantrum." Shiko was waaaaaaaaay above Inuyasha's head, laying down on air and smirking at the irate Hanyou. Sadly, Inuyasha had not learned to float up yet, so he had to be satisfied with growling and cursing at Shiko. The Kitsune cocked an eyebrow in return.

"Another thing. Don't call me 'little brat'. I'm a couple centuries older than you, thank you very much, and I could squish you flat if I wanted." Inuyasha snorted at this comment and opened his mouth to speak, but the Kitsune butted in before a sound could come out. "You can't hear anything that's happening down there, can you?" He pointed down to the ground with a lazy gesture. Inuyasha growled. "I'll take that as a yes. Well then!" Shiko perked up quite a bit, and Inuyasha took a wary step back. What was he going to do this time? "We can't have this, now can we! After all, we need to get to your funeral and I'm sure you want to hear the wailing of your dear companions as they either set you to flame or bury you under the ground."

Shiko suddenly appeared right behind Inuyasha, who started and twirled around as quickly as he could. The next thing he knew, Shiko was boxing his ears, grinning like a maniac.

"Ite!" Inuyasha yelped it pain and covered his ears, then snarled at the Kitsune. "What the FUCK did you do THAT for?!" The Kitsune sighed and shook his head mockingly.

"If you uncovered your ears you would know exactly _what_ I did, Hanyou." Inuyasha snarled, but slowly did what he was told. _This is definitely NOT my day... _Inuyasha grumbled with himself, thinking of ways to maim the Kitsune, when he noticed the difference to one of his senses. He could hear everything again! Sure, it was all dull muffles at first, but it was got louder and louder. Then he realized that the noises were getting so loud that it was starting to hurt. A lot. He yelped, almost covering his now oh-so-sensitive ears again. He did make sure they were as close as possible to his head, making them almost invisible against his tangled hair. He could hear _everything_. The gophers making their dens in the ground a mile off, the woodpeckers tapping their trees in the next village, the caterpillars wiggling out of their cocoons, the wind blowing through the tiny patches of grass that were at the Goshinboku. They all came to him like the rush and rumble of a thunderstorm. It was almost impossible to bear.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..." He whispered to himself and snarled. Even his own voice was almost unbearable, for fucks sake! This was totally different than before. Before he could only hear the stupid, arrogant, cocky, pain-in-the-ass Kitsune's voice, and everything was silent. He had kind of liked it. There were no screams, no yells, nothing that would disturb him much. But not hearing anything had made him feel helpless at the same time. What happened if someone tried to attack him from behind? That wasn't a problem anymore. If someone snuck up behind him right then, he hoped that they would make as little noise as possible.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry. I probably adjusted your hearing as much as I would have a human. Everything too loud for you?" Shiko's sarcastic voice came in as loud as a thousand roars, making Inuyasha finally give up and cover his ears with his hands. It barely helped. He could still hear everything, and it was getting very old, very fast.

"Just... Fucking... Fix it!" He whispered, not wanting to hurt his poor ears any more than he had to. He was going to _kill_ this Kitsune when he could hear properly, piece by piece, by piece, a slower and more painful death than what Naraku had gotten... Shiko shook his head.

"But this is sooo enjoyable to watch...!" A very deep growl came out of the pissed Hanyou, and Shiko sighed.

"Fine. You have to uncover your ears and make them stand up. I can't help you if they're all scrunched up like that." Inuyasha paused, then slowly took his hands away from his ears and clenched them together behind his back. He slowly forced his ears back up, which took quite a bit of self-control. Oh, how he wanted to just cover his ears and beat the shit out of Shiko! But he knew that Shiko would never let it down if he gave up and started whimpering like a puppy from all of the pain. He would NOT give in when that stupid sonofabitch was watching, not now, not ever! He finally got his ears to stand up straight with a last burst of anger. The sounds pounded against his ears, making him almost vibrate in pain. Shiko nodded with satisfaction, gave Inuyasha a deadly grin, then clutched both of the dog Hanyou's ears in his hands and twisted.

"Fuck!!" Inuyasha yelped once again, but happily noticed almost instantly that his hearing was back to the normal volume that he had when he was alive. He sighed with relief and glared at Shiko... Or at least, he would have if the Kitsune were there. Shiko was once again floating above him, just out of the angry Hanyou's jumping reach.

"Do you really think I'm _that_ stupid? I'm not one that wants to get bashed on the head until I've been driven into the ground."

"Yeah, well, a guy can always dream, can't he?" Inuyasha snarled back. No, he wouldn't bash Shiko into the ground... He'd do something _much_ worse than that. He started bristling again, wishing that he could float up to where Shiko was sitting and let himself go... It would certainly make him feel better.

"By the way, have you noticed anything different? Like, oh, the fact that all of your companions have left with your body to go bury it or something?" _That_ got Inuyasha's attention from his grumbling mood, and he looked up quickly. Just as Shiko said, nothing was really left in the decimated area except the giant crater of doom.

"Nice touch, by the way," Shiko commented, waving a wand towards the crater. "That will probably be there for a looooooooong time. I'll be reminded to laugh my ass off at your pathetic state now whenever I pass this area. Thanks ever so much."

"Well, thank _you_ for making my afterlife a fucking hell so far. How the hell are we supposed to find them?! I can't smell anything!" Inuyasha growled with impatience. He had decided quite a while past that he wanted to see his funeral, maybe just for the fact that Kagome would be there. He sighed. _Kagome... What am I going to do? _A cough interrupted him from his thoughts.

"Well, even though your body is useless to you, you're still partly attached to it. So, you _should_ be able to follow the pull from it. Or, you could follow the oh-so-obvious trail of charred skin that your body left. Either one is good with me," Shiko drawled. Inuyasha snarled at him. _Oh, yes. I'm going rip this fucking Kitsune up for a slow and painful death when I get the chance...Although, with my luck, it probably won't happen for a while. _He started to jog after the faint pull that he could feel in his chest, double checking to make sure he was on the right track by the small trail of black on the ground, with Shiko close behind him.

"Whoo! I win again! Undershirt, please." Shiko grinned over the floating Go board at Inuyasha, who was scowling darkly at him. He slowly started to take off the undershirt, and then numbly handed it over to Shiko. When the Kitsune took it with a grin, Inuyasha brought his other fist quickly down — to slam into air.

"Dammit! Aren't you supposed to help restless spirits or something and not steal their clothing?!" Inuyasha snarled. He was down to only his pants and beads, in which the pants probably would have taken already if Inuyasha hadn't lied and said that he didn't wear anything under them. Shiko had shivered at that and started murmuring something that sounded like 'You barbaric, uncouth animal.. Have you no modesty?' That comment would have gotten Shiko a bash in the head... If Inuyasha could touch him. How he wanted to hear the satisfying thud of fist meeting Kitsune skull like the many times when he was alive.

"Generally, yes, but I'm bored and you're interesting. Do you know how tiring it gets, floating around for however many centuries? Charades gets old real fast." Shiko gave Inuyasha a wicked grin. "Besides! You're the one who agreed that we should have a strip Go game while we're waiting for your funeral." The Kitsune laid his eyes back on Inuyasha's Haori and undershirt, eyes glowing. "Now I just need to find some random guy in the future, knock him out and possess him, then sell these things and make thousands! The gods would be happy with me then!" He cuddled the clothing, looking like he would float higher any minute. Inuyasha snorted.

"Not a chance, you weirdo. I'm going to win my clothes back!"

"'Weirdo'? Wow, you really _have_ run out of names to call me, haven't you?"

"Just shut the fuck up and lets start again!"

"Fine, fine. It _is_ your funeral."

. 

"Whoo! You lose _again_! Man, I thought no one was _that_ bad at playing Go, but you've proved me wrong!" Shiko was doing a sort of 'victory' dance right in front of Inuyasha, who was fuming and barely able to control his urge to throttle the fox.

"Okay then..." Shiko eyed Inuyasha with a gleeful expression, mockingly looking him over. "What should I take next...?" He looked quickly at his pants. "Ewww.. Nope, definitely not those. But do you have anything else...? Ah ha! What is _this?_" Shiko reached out a clawed hand to pull slightly on Inuyasha's prayer beads. Inuyasha's eyes widened slightly. _Why do I still have it on? It should be gone, like Tessaiga!_ Shiko, on the other hand, was closely examining the beads.

"Ah... so a subduing spell, eh?" Shiko leaned in closer, fingering the beads with his fingers. "So... These bind you to your girlfriend, no? What's the subduing word then? Si-, no, wrong language. Su...? Osu... Osuwari!" Suddenly Inuyasha was yanked down to the ground by the force that he was so familiar with and swore. Shiko laughed so hard that he fell over and landed on his back.

"Wow... That old granny can work a really good spell! It even works in the afterlife!" Shiko continued laughing while Inuyasha tried to punch him as soon as the spell wore off over and over and over. Shiko moved away from each of the punches with a roll of laughter. Inuyasha swore again.

"Just shut the fuck up!"

"Aw, Inuyasha, you should really— Really— Oh, screw it! Osuwari!" Inuyasha swore again, eating dirt. That made Shiko laugh even harder. _Okay, that's it. That fucking stupid Kitsune is going to die three times over when I get my hands on him!_ And with that thought, Inuyasha was slightly pacified. Until Shiko sent him eating dirt again.

"FUCK!"

End of Chapter 1 

Eeee... There you go! The introduction of Shiko. I love the guy. xD Next chapter should be coming soon, I hope, but if school starts to build up again then it'll be a wait. Hope you're enjoying it so far! Thankies to Sailorkagome180 too for being my first reviewer. 3 Also, if anyone wants to be my beta, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, and please R&R! Ja ja!

Kotono-chan

**Disclaimer:** I in no way, shape, or form own Inuyasha. Sadly. If I did, then the Inu-tachi would get blinded by Naraku in a Tutu. Mwa hahahahaha. x3


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